When many are the victim, what about me?

In the social work sector, during training or interactive events, the event management team or NGOs strive to understand the reasons behind advocating and taking a stand against child marriage.

In October 2022, a representative from Console Mission attended an event hosted by a coalition of NGOs dedicated to eradicating child marriage in Nepal. During an introductory session, the director divided the attendees, asking those married before the age of 18 or related to someone who was to move to the right side, and all others to the left. The exercise aimed to identify victims of child marriage. Surprisingly, more than half belonged to neither category, and while some knew of such cases, no direct victims were present. Locating a victim is feasible, yet it requires public outcry. Nonetheless, questioning the effectiveness or deeming efforts to halt child marriage as futile is not constructive.

Our research indicates that three out of five individuals marry early and either do not complete their education or stop after grade 10. It is common to find that many parents and their ancestors also married at a young age.

Discussing marriage with teenagers is not a common practice now. However, our colleague, a male, was encouraged by his grandfather at the age of 12 to find a wife. His grandparents had married at the same age without understanding what marriage entailed. Another case involves a woman employed at the Chief District Office in the western part of the country, who was abandoned by her husband after giving birth to a daughter. She was a teenager in love. Similarly, her daughter and her niece also married as teenagers and did not finish their schooling.

Many of our parents, and their parents before them, married before the age of 18, some even before 16, and often had children within a year of marriage. This practice continues today. Last June and July, three 14-year-old girls associated with Console Mission were married. Today, Console Mission learned that one girl, Sumitra, and her husband will soon have a homecoming celebration. They were friends, and after one married, the other two followed. This occurred as Console Mission was transitioning the Our Study Place project to the community. Over the past five years, since 2018, there had been a decline in such cases. The older sisters of these girls, who were students and volunteers at OSP, completed school and were expected to take on their roles. One who had married earlier began her role but then visited Console Mission’s office, possibly hoping to find a place at the Self Managed Home. It wasn’t easy for her to ask, and she may not have shared her situation, especially with her older sister who was planning to attend college after completing her SEE.

Indeed, it’s not just in the past; we are still surrounded by victims.

While marriage might be a means for many teenage girls to support their lives, they often end up as victims. They are expected to give birth, manage household chores, tend to livestock, and work the land to cultivate crops such as maize and green vegetables.ables.

A girl who excelled in the SEE was advised to enroll in a technical course beneficial for her village, known for its milk production from livestock such as buffalo, cows, and goats. However, she married. The Console Mission learned from her husband’s uncle that she was expected to manage the household, livestock, fields, and bear children. Yet, the girl insisted her husband valued education and would support her college attendance.

Before Console Mission initiated Our Study Place, an educational program for children, underage marriages were rampant from 2015 to 2017, with girls under 15 marrying and conceiving.

Console Mission encountered a grade 9 scholarship recipient who married. She claimed she quit school to care for her ill father, but soon after, she fled. Her mother, speaking to Console Mission fearfully, revealed her daughter could have married a year earlier if not for the scholarship. Despite counseling from Console Mission on family planning and sexual health, the young girl faced life-threatening complications during childbirth and was rushed to the hospital.

Another case involved a boy whose mother died during his birth. He never met her and grew up with two older sisters. His father had longed for a son, possibly pushing the mother beyond her physical limits. She married young, had two children, and succumbed to the strain. Teenage years should be for growth and development, but early entry into the reproductive cycle, contrary to medical advice, can lead to both social and physical ailments.

The story unfolds with a boy whose mother passed away during his birth. He never had the opportunity to meet her. He grew up with two older sisters, and a father who longed for a son. Perhaps his mother was physically unable to bear more children. She married young, had two children during her teenage years—a time when individuals should focus on their personal development. Medical science sets guidelines for entering the reproductive cycle, aimed at improving global health. Ignoring these guidelines leads to social and physical disorders that persist over time.

Breaking this cycle is imperative. Without collective support, it is not feasible. Thus, we invite you to join us. Leaving no one behind is crucial, or else our world faces jeopardy. The pandemic has shown us that the suffering of one person, family, or community can have a lasting negative impact worldwide.

Console Mission’s initiative highlights the importance of advocacy for children’s needs and rights. While parents and adults may know the law, the absence of enforcement leads to the continuation of teenage marriages as cultural norms, perpetuating these practices.